--Work: I'm a regular for the AP position with SR. I'm applying for the AP position with FNS. Maybe I'll be able to work in some time at the WH?
--Life: Made additional payments on the loan. I don't know how regular the exercise is there, need to work on that one. I have no idea what I weigh at the moment.
--Skating: Competed at Philadelphia Areas and won both events! And landed flips in both! Spins of all things seem to be improving...I've started toying with the juvenile moves since I'm so tired of the others...Competition #2 will hopefully be in July.
--Signed up for online dating again...let's see how that goes. I'm hoping to do trapeze once it finally warms up again. And I think I found another thing to do...Irish language class? #nerd
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
March Check In
It's been a weird time. A lot of self reflection and a lot of other people wanting my time and energy and at a certain point I have to say no, I have to please myself first before I please anyone else. I started writing here because I thought no one would understand, no one would get it. Boy was I wrong. Here's a quote from a friend's blog that puts into words exactly how I feel.
"I'm so young and feel lightyears past many people my age and older. Ignorance may be bliss but I'd rather feel life, live the ups and downs with my realistic, idealist perspective than be numb to it all. It's because I know how the low's feel that makes the high points in life so amazing. It's knowing the natural high happiness brigs that makes me pick myself up out of the low points."
As much as I want to grow up and move on to the next stage of life, it seems so far away. But situations in life may be forcing my hand in that regard. Things that I shouldn't have to deal with, things that someone so much older than me should be facing, not me. I'm still trying to figure out how to be myself let alone handle others' problems. It's not my time, but I guess the world has other ideas.
Work: I got to field produce! I was definitely thrown into the deep end on this one, and it appears I was able to swim. It was an insanely long day but well worth it. Very strange though, the other stations seemed to think I knew what was up, listen dude, you've been doing this longer than I've been alive and I've been doing it for all of four hours, so yeah.
AND I was able to start learning the AP job for SR! FINALLY! It appears I will be learning the AP jobs for the other shows over the next couple months too. Kind of out of the blue, but still kind of cool. Hopefully these experiences will put me on the track toward my goals.
Skating: Tested prejuvenile moves, but got a retry again. Way better than last time, didn't fall! But those darn 3 turns are clearly my nemesis. My coach here seems to think I should switch to adult track, I really have no desire to do so. Why would I at this point? And eventually I would be switched back to standard anyway. Definite best case of reverse psychology, but I don't think she realizes it. I'm the wrong person to tell no to, I find a way around, always have and always will.
Life: Well, the maintaining regular exercise routine has sort of worked. The weight loss appears to have stalled and maybe reversed slightly..too much Easter candy, oops. Progress will be made on the student loans..as soon as I figure out what my account password was, again oops.
The first quarter of the year is in the books. Bring it on second quarter!
"I'm so young and feel lightyears past many people my age and older. Ignorance may be bliss but I'd rather feel life, live the ups and downs with my realistic, idealist perspective than be numb to it all. It's because I know how the low's feel that makes the high points in life so amazing. It's knowing the natural high happiness brigs that makes me pick myself up out of the low points."
As much as I want to grow up and move on to the next stage of life, it seems so far away. But situations in life may be forcing my hand in that regard. Things that I shouldn't have to deal with, things that someone so much older than me should be facing, not me. I'm still trying to figure out how to be myself let alone handle others' problems. It's not my time, but I guess the world has other ideas.
Work: I got to field produce! I was definitely thrown into the deep end on this one, and it appears I was able to swim. It was an insanely long day but well worth it. Very strange though, the other stations seemed to think I knew what was up, listen dude, you've been doing this longer than I've been alive and I've been doing it for all of four hours, so yeah.
AND I was able to start learning the AP job for SR! FINALLY! It appears I will be learning the AP jobs for the other shows over the next couple months too. Kind of out of the blue, but still kind of cool. Hopefully these experiences will put me on the track toward my goals.
Skating: Tested prejuvenile moves, but got a retry again. Way better than last time, didn't fall! But those darn 3 turns are clearly my nemesis. My coach here seems to think I should switch to adult track, I really have no desire to do so. Why would I at this point? And eventually I would be switched back to standard anyway. Definite best case of reverse psychology, but I don't think she realizes it. I'm the wrong person to tell no to, I find a way around, always have and always will.
Life: Well, the maintaining regular exercise routine has sort of worked. The weight loss appears to have stalled and maybe reversed slightly..too much Easter candy, oops. Progress will be made on the student loans..as soon as I figure out what my account password was, again oops.
The first quarter of the year is in the books. Bring it on second quarter!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
February In Review
Alright, alright, I know I'm a little behind, but hey better late than never right?
This month's quote is "Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway." --Earl Nightingale
Work: Well I took the bull by horns and just went for. Today was awesome running around on the Hill. This is why I moved here, this. Not to be stuck in an office all day every day. To look out the window and be so close, well finally I just had enough. I had to bring it to life rather than just on TV. If I don't advocate for myself who will?
Life: Well it appears I screwed something up on my loan, need to get that sorted out. Down a jean size! Granted they are stretchy curvy fit, but hey a size down is a size down. I have no clue what that means in terms of poundage.
Skating: Started trying flip-toe loops and they sort of actually worked! Back spins are more consistent in terms of spinning, correct edge is still a little off. Provided I actually get the vacation days, I'm testing at the end of the month and possibly competing. Yikes!
Something out of the box: Online dating. It was fun, only yielded one real life date which wasn't very good unfortunately. But hey I tried.
This month's quote is "Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway." --Earl Nightingale
Work: Well I took the bull by horns and just went for. Today was awesome running around on the Hill. This is why I moved here, this. Not to be stuck in an office all day every day. To look out the window and be so close, well finally I just had enough. I had to bring it to life rather than just on TV. If I don't advocate for myself who will?
Life: Well it appears I screwed something up on my loan, need to get that sorted out. Down a jean size! Granted they are stretchy curvy fit, but hey a size down is a size down. I have no clue what that means in terms of poundage.
Skating: Started trying flip-toe loops and they sort of actually worked! Back spins are more consistent in terms of spinning, correct edge is still a little off. Provided I actually get the vacation days, I'm testing at the end of the month and possibly competing. Yikes!
Something out of the box: Online dating. It was fun, only yielded one real life date which wasn't very good unfortunately. But hey I tried.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
New Year
DREAMS reflected with inaction will sour the soul. SOAR to your passion & SPARKLE in it. ASPIRE to INSPIRE. GO.
Month 1 Check in:
Work: Vocal about where I want to go and what I want to do. Things seem to be moving in the right direction.
Life: Not much action on the student loan part yet. Somewhat regular exercise routine. Will hopefully become very regular with my new schedule.
Skating: Aiming to test moves in March and compete in April. Freestyle is coming along, landing consistent loops and semi consistent flips. Back spins are also semi there. Testing in March may be pushing it a little bit. But there is still time.
Something out of the box: I have started ballroom dancing. And I love it! Who would have thought? I think ballet class might be next.
Month 1 Check in:
Work: Vocal about where I want to go and what I want to do. Things seem to be moving in the right direction.
Life: Not much action on the student loan part yet. Somewhat regular exercise routine. Will hopefully become very regular with my new schedule.
Skating: Aiming to test moves in March and compete in April. Freestyle is coming along, landing consistent loops and semi consistent flips. Back spins are also semi there. Testing in March may be pushing it a little bit. But there is still time.
Something out of the box: I have started ballroom dancing. And I love it! Who would have thought? I think ballet class might be next.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Dreams for 2013
I'm not going down the route of New Year's Resolutions...not going to fall into that trap. A wise friend said:
"As you're thinking about 2013 approaching...I challenge you to skip the resolutions, and think GOALS and DREAMS...and WRITE THEM DOWN. With a deadline. Dreams are a written goal with a deadline. I promise you, it's magical and it really works. :)"
So here it goes, by December 31, 2013 I want to:
--Work: Promoted to AP/Field work at WH and Capitol Hill
--Life: Reduce remaining student loans by a third/Maintain regular exercise routine/Lose 36 lbs
--Skating: Pass Prejuvenile moves and preliminary freestyle by April 2013/Pass Juvenile moves/Axel?/Compete three times
This will be my year. My year to take control and not let anything stop me. Comfortable and easy won't get me anywhere I have to fight for what I want and take that chance. That same chance I took 16 months ago when I moved down here not really sure what I was getting myself into. The status quo has got to go. No more accepting life as it comes, it's time for me to change it. There is no in between. No risk, no reward, so here it goes, bring it on 2013!
"As you're thinking about 2013 approaching...I challenge you to skip the resolutions, and think GOALS and DREAMS...and WRITE THEM DOWN. With a deadline. Dreams are a written goal with a deadline. I promise you, it's magical and it really works. :)"
So here it goes, by December 31, 2013 I want to:
--Work: Promoted to AP/Field work at WH and Capitol Hill
--Life: Reduce remaining student loans by a third/Maintain regular exercise routine/Lose 36 lbs
--Skating: Pass Prejuvenile moves and preliminary freestyle by April 2013/Pass Juvenile moves/Axel?/Compete three times
This will be my year. My year to take control and not let anything stop me. Comfortable and easy won't get me anywhere I have to fight for what I want and take that chance. That same chance I took 16 months ago when I moved down here not really sure what I was getting myself into. The status quo has got to go. No more accepting life as it comes, it's time for me to change it. There is no in between. No risk, no reward, so here it goes, bring it on 2013!
Monday, September 10, 2012
Contemplation...
It has been a whirlwind the past few weeks. We've survived both conventions and now the games really begin. It was really hard to be left behind, it must be what the athletes who come in 4th at the Olympic Trials feel like. You are so close to everything you ever could have dreamed of you can taste it. You know exactly what will happen and when it will happen, you know the dedication and passion that brought you oh so close yet so far. Everything in you is screaming, I should be there, why am I not there?
I know it is not my time quite yet and I simply have to be patient and wait my turn. But I don't want to, I want it to be now. It is hard to hear other people talk about how unhappy they seem to be, when on the inside I am screaming, I will do it! You have no clue how good you have it. You have no clue what it feels like to think nobody wants you, to think that maybe this wasn't a good idea. I am in a town of type A personalities just like me and we all want more we all are driven and successful. They have no clue what I had to do to get to where I am now. But now that I'm here I want more, go big or go home.
I went to a skating show over the weekend. It was wonderful! My first time back at the rink in about a month. It showed me the joy and passion out there. This is the one place where I have no worries, no responsibilities, nothing getting in my way. To meet an icon of the sport like I did was absolutely unreal!
And to see the simplest of movements glide across the ice so powerfully, it reminded me why I fell in love with this crazy sport in the first place. The simple glide, the rip of the blade, the feeling of flying, the wind across my face, there is nothing better. Just give me a piece of the ice and I am in my own world and very happy. Sure I would love more, but you know what? I work with what I have and that is okay.
I know it is not my time quite yet and I simply have to be patient and wait my turn. But I don't want to, I want it to be now. It is hard to hear other people talk about how unhappy they seem to be, when on the inside I am screaming, I will do it! You have no clue how good you have it. You have no clue what it feels like to think nobody wants you, to think that maybe this wasn't a good idea. I am in a town of type A personalities just like me and we all want more we all are driven and successful. They have no clue what I had to do to get to where I am now. But now that I'm here I want more, go big or go home.
I went to a skating show over the weekend. It was wonderful! My first time back at the rink in about a month. It showed me the joy and passion out there. This is the one place where I have no worries, no responsibilities, nothing getting in my way. To meet an icon of the sport like I did was absolutely unreal!
And to see the simplest of movements glide across the ice so powerfully, it reminded me why I fell in love with this crazy sport in the first place. The simple glide, the rip of the blade, the feeling of flying, the wind across my face, there is nothing better. Just give me a piece of the ice and I am in my own world and very happy. Sure I would love more, but you know what? I work with what I have and that is okay.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Seriously?!?
Ugh..rough day at work today. Something pretty major slipped through the cracks and it feels like its all my fault...but there are about 17 other sets of eyes that are supposed to double check. The long and the short of it, I'm in charge of a bunch of incompetent, lying fools who lack the ability to think independently. I'm not their mother, nor should I have to be. These are grown adults, some of them have been doing this job longer than I've been alive, but now I'm the scapegoat?
I understand this was an epic fail on many levels, but it never occurred to you that there was a problem when it was up on preview? Meanwhile, I've got people in my ear wanting things I can't be in 6 places at once. This was supposed to be the fun, cool job...not really. It is very much a clique that I'm not part of because of the rotation between people.
I should have just stayed on vacation...
I understand this was an epic fail on many levels, but it never occurred to you that there was a problem when it was up on preview? Meanwhile, I've got people in my ear wanting things I can't be in 6 places at once. This was supposed to be the fun, cool job...not really. It is very much a clique that I'm not part of because of the rotation between people.
I should have just stayed on vacation...
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