Winter Blahs

Things have kind of been up and down the last few days. Sometimes I actually do things and some days...well let's just say I probably spend more time playing Tetris. There is so much I want yet so much I can't have. I've applied to probably close to ~150 jobs at this point, yet nothing. I do everything "they" tell you to do and then some and have nothing to show for it. I just wish I could get an interview...the other day I was excited because an actual human acknowledged my resume. I know good things will come to those who wait...but goodness I've done my time. I don't want to settle for second best, but I'm so done fighting. When will it finally be my turn? At least with college, I knew I would have a back up if my first choice didn't pan out. But this whole job thing, I can only seem to buy myself time. I just want consistency and stability and to know what I'll be doing for the next year or two not just the next month or two. Right now is one of those moments where I wish there were a handbook on life. No one tells you how to handle not being able to find a job. I'm just like everyone else. I want the American Dream, the good job, husband, kids, house, white picket fence, the whole thing. I just want my life to come off the pause button and move forward.